nanimonanimonanimo nai

I was gonna rant on the outrageously bad “Halloween II” but on second thought I don’t think it even deserves my rants. ^^ I’ll just say this, spare yourself (and your wallet). DON’T watch it. Unless you want to know what a BADDDD movie is like. If it weren’t for the association with the Halloween series, it would have been a straight-to-video one. Seriously, it’s THAT bad. Now, even though I said it didn’t deserve my rants I did rant a bit on the movie so I guess I’ll continue this post to rant on my sworn enemy.

I used to hate people who smoke in public places so much I never thought I’d see the day something replaces them in my heart (halahh..). Turns out living in Jakarta has introduced me to the lowly species that is motorbike riders. I HATE them. I REALLY HATE them. I HATE them with all my heart. And if you’re a pedestrian in Jakarta then I’m sure that you will agree to at least some of what I’m saying.

Motorbike riders in Jakarta showed me that THEY, and not smokers, are the most selfish creature in this whole world, my world at least. I’m sure every pedestrian has had a rider honking him from behind when walking on the walkway. I’m sorry, I thought walkways are meant for pedestrians. Are you walking? No, you’re not. SO WHAT’S WITH THE HONKING??!!!!

Riders also NEVER stop even if they’re going to run into something. They don’t stop even if it seems they’re gonna collide with a car so there’s just NO way in hell that they’d stop for a pedestrian. As I mentioned before , I’ve had riders barely avoiding me at the intersection DURING THE RED LIGHT just because they won’t hit the brake. I’ve even had a rider actually running me over EVEN THOUGH I WAS CROSSING AT THE ZEBRA CROSS!!! Fortunately I survived the accident (dengan memar di sana-sini bak korban penganiayaan) with my head and all four limbs intact. Masih inget aku, motor kawasaki ninja (sedikit curhat ^^).

Yang bikin lebih sebel lagi, motor kalo nyelip-nyelip suka-sukanya aja. Tapi kalo dia kesenggol marah. Eh monyong!! Macam jalan neneknya aja dibikinnya.. Jujur, kalo ngeliat kecelakaan (yang 90% korbannya motor tentu saja) aku udah gak ada kasian sama sekali ngeliat pengendara motor yang jadi korban. Bukan apa-apa, kemungkinan besar he brought it upon himself.

I know, I know, not all riders are like that. But due the VERY HIGH frequency of my meeting an ass**** rider, I’ve adopted the principle “guilty until proven otherwise” ato kalo dalam bahasa Indonesia, “praduga bersalah”. Kalo elok laku dia, barulah aku menganggap “Oh, ini orang. Bukan pengendara motor.” kehkehkehh

No offense to riders reading this. Sukur-sukur pengendara motor yang baca ini agak bertobat dikit. Kalo ada orang lagi nyebrang dikasi lewat. Gak suka ngebut dengan motornya yang saking ributnya kayaknya kalo diukur mencapai desibel 100. Ato kalopun kelakuannya gak berubah setidaknya abis nabrak orang ada lah kepikiran dikit..

 

Astaga…

Gilak ya pejabat Indonesia. Belum apa-apa dah mo naikin gaji aja. Hal pertama yang diurus malah begituan. Najongg… Amit-amit. Terus alasannya karena dibandingkan dengan gaji pejabat tinggi di negara-negara lain gaji pejabat Indonesia jauh lebih rendah. Bandinginnya ma mana tuh? Sama Singapura? Jepang? Jerman? Ya iyyalahh lebih rendah. Gaji karyawan Indonesia juga dibandingin ma gaji karyawan Singapura ya jauh lebih rendah. Kalo ngebandingin tuh sama Zimbabwe kek. Monyong. Bikin alasan yang bagusan dikit napa.
Kalo ampe beneran naik gaji kudoakan duitnya gak berkah. Sukur-sukur rumahnya kemalingan ato kebakar ato hal-hal jelek lainnya dahh.
Cihh kalo dah menyangkut pejabat pemerintahan memang selalu bikin cakap kotor.

 

sabtu kelabu dengan makhluk kelabu

Dia baru pertama kali ke terminal itu. Tempat yang ramai, bus dan angkot silih berganti keluar masuk. Calo berteriak-teriak menarik penumpang. Kakinya melangkah cepat, berusaha keluar secepat mungkin dari tempat itu. Setelah lama menunggu, angkot bernomor 37 lewat di depannya dan buru-buru ia naik dan meninggalkan terminal. Hufff lega..
Tiba-tiba terasa ada sesuatu yang menusuk kaki. Refleks dia langsung menunduk, melihat ke bawah bangku. Tidak ada apa-apa. Tapi dia yakin tadi kakinya tertusuk sesuatu yang cukup tajam. Jangan-jangan.. binatang???
Walaupun tidak yakin, dia tetap merasa cemas sehingga memindahkan kakinya. Kedua kaki diluruskan agar menjauh dari kursi. Tindakan yang salah ternyata. Tiba-tiba di ekor matanya dia melihat sebuah moncong kecil tepat di sebelah kaki kanannya, yang menempel dengan dinding belakang angkot. TIKUS!!! Ya, tikus, mancik, nezumi, rat, chui (dan entah apa lagi sebutannya dalam bahasa-bahasa lain), makhluk abu-abu yang identik dengan kotor dan penyakit. Dia langsung menghentakkan kakinya untuk menakuti si tikus. Wanita yang duduk tepat di depannya memandanginya dengan aneh. Dia hanya bisa berbisik, “tikus…” dengan nada terteror. Tetapi wanita itu tidak bereaksi apa-apa, mungkin di rumahnya sudah biasa menjumpai makhluk celaka itu.
Penampakan moncong kecil itu membuat adrenalinnya terpacu dan detak jantung meningkat pesat. Dia langsung siaga satu dengan pandangan terus-menerus menyapu lantai angkot, agar dapat sesegera mungkin mendeteksi kemunculan si tikus. Matanya tertumbuk ke sepatu kedsnya yang berwarna abu-abu. Kenapa tali sepatunya ada tiga?? Ketika dilihat lebih dekat ternyata itu adalah ekor si tikus yang entah bagaimana tanpa sepengetahuannya nongkrong dengan nyamannya di sepatunya. Jeritan tertahan dan hentakan kaki membuat seisi angkot melihat ke arahnya. Dan lagi-lagi dia hanya bisa berkata, “tikus..” tanpa bisa berkata lebih lanjut. Reaksi para penumpang, di luar dugaannya, benar-benar bertolak belakang dengan si wanita autis.
“AAAAAA!!!!! TIKUUSSSS!!!!”
“KYAAA!!”
“AAAA!!!”
“IIIIII!!!!”
Dua orang gadis bahkan langsung bangkit dan berada dalam posisi setengah-berdiri-setengah-duduk sambil terus menjerit-jerit selama kira-kira setengah menit saking paniknya. Dia sendiri, dari panik dan ketakutan, menjadi terkikik sendiri melihat reaksi seisi angkot. Supir angkot, mendengar kehebohan di belakangnya, menghentikan angkot.
“Apa? Ada apa?”
“Tikus bang..!!”
“Ah tikus aja..”(!!)
Jawaban si supir membuatnya tertawa ngakak. Dasar supir gak sopan!!
Sepanjang perjalanan suasana silih berganti tenang-panik (karena si tikus menampakkan dirinya)-tenang-panik sampai kemudian dia sampai di tujuannya.
“Kiri bang!”
Ketika dia melewati penumpang-penumpang lainnya untuk turun, mereka semua menyelamatinya,
“Wah, selamat ya mbak. Mbak udah aman.”
Dia pun tersenyum dan merasa bak juara lomba survival di tengah hutan.
Kalau dipikir-pikir, kenapa para penumpang itu tidak turun saja dan naik angkot yang lain? Ternyata mereka lebih memilih bersama tikus ketimbang membayar 2000 ekstra..

 

just drop dead :-x

Usually I’m not bothered by it, tapi entah kenapa kemaren udah sampe ke ubun-ubun. I’m talking about the stupid low-class uneducated men yang kerjanya nyuit-nyuitin setiap cewek yang lewat di depannya. I was walking, minding my own business, when suddenly a stupid ugly (gak tau juga sih jelek apa gak, kulirik pun tidak..) boy (around high-school age I think) ngomong,
“Mau ke mana mbak?”.
Naturally, I didn’t answer, though I had this urge to look for the biggest rock around me. And naturally, of course, he continued his aggravating behavior,
“MBAK!! MBAK!! Mau kemana??!”
“**** off!!” (dalam hati doang)
Melihat gak ada tanggapan, ganti strategi dia,
“Assalamualaikum”
(Siiiinggg…)
“ASSALAMUALAIKUM”
AGGGGHHHH WHY DON’T YOU JUST DROP DEAD!!

 

hmm plis deh..

supposed to post this yesterday, but slipped my mind saking keasikan donlot komik.. ^^
I’m gonna comment a bit about the uproar over the health minister thing. No, I’m not gonna criticize the new health minister because of her background. Nor am I gonna slam SBY for appointing her. Noo this post is dedicated for condemning the former health minister. Apa maksudnya ngomong-ngomong kayak gitu in a national television?? What was going in her mind? She will not gain anything by badmouthing her successor in front of the whole nation. She will only harm the whole nation because everyone will be doubtful of the successor and it will hinder her in doing her job. If she really has something to say then she should just tell SBY in person instead of saying it in front of everyone. And the ones harmed by this will be?? Indonesian people of course (duh) and the poor ones even more.

 

hahh shame on (stupid) you..

Hahaa memalukan sekali masalah tari Pendet kemarin. I found it really strange that everyone and especially the media instantly (dan dengan penuh semangat) mencaci-maki Malaysia. How could they be so confident of their side of the story? Did it never occur to them to verify the so-called theft? Didn’t they think of the possibility that the blame might lie on Discovery? But nooo!! Nobody I talked to even think of the possibility. They vehemently declared that “Malaysia is once again out to steal our culture!!!” and they called on everyone to come join the hate wagon. So now Discovery has admitted that it was their mistake, what do you have to say? Nothing. And if anything, this incident only serves as a testament to your stupidity. Hehh. And what’s worse, pemerintah kita yang tercinta itu (hoekk) made an official protest to Malaysia about this matter. Can you imagine? They made a big fuss over nothing!! And this is the government for God sake!!! How can they made a mistake over something like that?? So what are you going to do now? Issue apology to Malaysia? Hahh..

Everyone should stop this hating game already. It’s been going on for too long and too far and nothing good will come of it..

 

may you all perish in h***!!

hmmmpphh beberapa hari kembali ke Indonesia, the one thing that made me fully realize that I’m back in Indonesia is all the swearwords that instantly jump out from my mouth every time I walk. Pedestrians are of the lowest caste. They have no right whatsoever. They have to look out for buses, cars, bikes, and (my sworn lifelong enemy) motorcycles even when walking on the walkway. EVEN WHEN CROSSING AT THE PEDESTRIAN CROSSING!!!! Well scr** you all!!

Several nights ago, when I got off from an angkot, (lagi-lagi) a motorcycle nearly ran into me. I admit that because I didn’t look carefully behind me it’s partly my fault but what set my fuse was the mulut comel yang naik motor. “Hati-hati dong mbak”.. (And the intonation was exactly the same with the one usually used by pria-pria kampungan to pick up girls..) GAAAAHHH!!!! Minta mulutnya ditampol pake swallow tuh orang.. But I digress, this post is a rant on the ill-manners of motorcycle riders in Indonesia, particularly in Jakarta (I’ll rant about those kampungan men later). My point is, itu si pengendara motor dared to tell me to be careful?? As if HE is. May I remind you dear sir, that 80% of all traffic accidents involve motorcycles??!! And that is because 99.99999% of the time motorcycles DO NOT follow traffic rules. During the short time span I live in Jakarta, I’ve had motorcycles almost running into me so many times. And I follow the rules, mind you. I cross the street either at the crossing or on the bridge and I only do so when the light is green for the pedestrian.  And still I have to evade motorcycles. I’m thinking of carrying some pebbles with me to throw the motorcycles running through the red light with. (Or perhaps rocks would be a better idea?? )

 

cabe deee

My new english teacher, Andy seems (to me) to be the perfect example of how narrow-minded Americans can be. Perhaps it’s because he’s still young (he’s actually younger than me!! <gasp>) and he’s never been out of America before.

Now, why did I say he’s narrow-minded? Because he thought (or maybe he still does) that all Moslem women that wear headscarves are being repressed. When the class ends, he said “Next time, we’re going to discuss women who are repressed in their society” and then looked at us (me and my friend who is also wearing a headscarf). I was like, “What’s with the look??”.

Then on the next class, long story short, he responded to  my friend (an Indonesian) by saying, “And women should not vote, they should not drive, right? (he’s being sarcastic to what my friend said )”. What?? Where did you get the idea?? So naturally, I retorted,

“FYI, we CAN vote in Indonesia. We are also allowed to drive, to have a driver’s license.”

“REALLY??”

Ya elah deee ni orang… 

So for those of you reading these hoping to read a Moslem women lamenting her repressed life.. let me tell you something. It doesn’t happen in Indonesia. MOSLEM WOMEN ARE NOT REPRESSED IN INDONESIA. AND HEADSCARF IS NOT A FORM OF REPRESSION. Though I must say that this does not include Arabian women. Since I have no idea how it works there.

 

mari bersyukur

How many of you Indonesians make it a habit to check out the weather forecast everyday? I don’t. Because I don’t think it really affects me whether it’s raining or not. If it’s the rainy season then I’ll always bring my umbrella with me. If it’s the dry season then I won’t. It’s always been that simple. Back in Indonesia, it seems to me that the weather has always been out of the picture when planning something, or anything for that matter (even when you’re holding a wedding party, cause most Indonesians will just hire a pawang. lol).

However,  during one of my conversation class (the one I described lovingly in the previous post ) we were having “weather” as the topic and I was asked one question, “How does the weather affect your lifestyle?”. I was like, “Affect my lifestyle? How CAN a weather affect my lifestyle??”. And Michael (for those of you who forgot, Michael’s the teacher’s name) was like, “Are you telling me you have never been affected by the weather all your life? Didn’t you consider of what the weather would be while making plans??”. I answered with a simple “No” and then he had this incredulous look on his face. He said, “For example, where I come from, the whole town could shut down because of a snowstorm. And when you open the door you see that snow has blocked your doorway up to the roof.” So I answered, “Well, Indonesia has only two season and they are not very different. The only difference is the amount and frequency of the rain. Which means you have to bring umbrella during the rainy season. That’s all. We don’t have four seasons, where the weather goes to the extremes.” And he had this you-guys-have-it-easy-there-huh look on his face that all the Indonesians (merasa dianggap remeh ) quickly replied,

“But during the dry season it gets really hot.”

“How hot? What’s the highest temperature it gets in Indonesia?”

“Umm 34? 35 degree Celcius?”. And then I added, “It was so hot that I’d get headache”

“In Canada, during the summer the temperature might reach 45 degree Celcius.”

And we were all like, “WHATT??!!” and were so embarrassed for saying 34 degree celcius is really hot…  

So, moral of the story, bersyukurlah kita, orang Indonesia, berada di khatulistiwa with its moderate climate. Musim kita gak aneh-aneh. Gak ada musim dingin yang dingin menusuk tulang ataupun musim panas yang kayaknya betul-betul bisa bikin mati kepanasan. Dah gitu gak ada angin topan, tornado, hujan badai. Tapi kalo gitu berarti Filipina kasian kali ya. Udah cuman dua musim, sering kena topan pula. Huehehee

 

indonesia vs malaysia

Tiba-tiba pingin bahas ini. Gara-garanya I stumbled upon a blog (tahapa alamatnya, tak ingat aku :p) yang memaki-maki Malaysia soal angklung dan rasa sayange (dan mungkin ada lagi tapi gak kubaca karena dah malas).

Kebanyakan orang Indonesia membenci Malaysia karena menurut mereka Malaysia “mencuri” milik indonesia. Mengaku-aku sesuatu yang sebetulnya milik Indonesia sebagai milik mereka. Dan sayangnya pers Indonesia tidak berusaha mencari tahu the other side of the story. Mereka justru cenderung “mengompori” orang Indonesia.

Bodoh kali pun..!!! Terus kita marah-marah Malaysia “mencuri” budaya kita untuk apa? Emang kalo M’sia “mencuri” budaya kita does it mean we will lose our culture? I don’t think so. Terus emangnya kita sendiri apa yang telah kita lakukan terhadap item-item budaya itu? Kurasa mayoritas dari kita peduli juga nggak. Kalo dengan diaku Malaysia berarti item budaya itu diperhatikan, dipelihara, dan dilestarikan oleh pemerintah Malaysia bukannya bagus? Toh di Indonesia gak ada yang peduli. Analoginya seorang anak yang ditelantarkan oleh orangtuanya. Bukankah lebih bagus dia dibesarkan oleh orang lain? Meskipun orang itu bukan orangtuanya tapi kalau bisa memberikan kasih sayang dan bimbingan yang diperlukan si anak..?

My point is, orang Indonesia itu nampak kali bodohnya. Punya barang bagus gak pernah sadar. Mesti dicuri dulu baru sadar. Itu pun reaksinya gak guna. Marah-marah doang. Gak ada tindak lanjut. Jangan ditunjukkan kali la bodoh kau tu.. Stupid.. My nation is stupid. Sedih kali pun..