I am faint-hearted

Never thought that I’m one but yesterday’s experience showed me that I’m not as strong as I thought I am. I was on my home, on the usual bus. You know how buses in Jakarta are like; stuffy, cramped, with the usual performers and hawkers getting on and off (you have them all the time you don’t usually pay attention to them). Yesterday’s performer was not the standard type however, very out of the ordinary that you WOULD at some point notice him. He was some kinda a street magician, a debus performer to be exact. You heard me right, debus, the mystical art of Banten. He did stunts like chewing on shards of glasses and then threw them out, and for the main attraction he -get this- slit his arm with a shard of glass (gasp). Needless to say, all the while he was making all those slits I was looking the other way.  I mean, I was already rattled enough when I saw a paper he pulled out of his pocket was blotted with blood here and there. There’s just no way that I’m watching him cutting himself.

I really don’t understand the logic of him thinking that we’d give him some money for his stunts since I don’t think you can’t call that entertainment. Instead of entertaining us it freaked us (well, most of the female passengers) out.. No way in hell I’m paying for something that freaked me out. Ergo through this episode I found out that I am faint-hearted when it comes to real-life blood.

Thinking back, he should stop those stunts. I mean, what if he has hepatitis or something? He might pass it to a passenger who got into contact with the blood.

 

nanimonanimonanimo nai

I was gonna rant on the outrageously bad “Halloween II” but on second thought I don’t think it even deserves my rants. ^^ I’ll just say this, spare yourself (and your wallet). DON’T watch it. Unless you want to know what a BADDDD movie is like. If it weren’t for the association with the Halloween series, it would have been a straight-to-video one. Seriously, it’s THAT bad. Now, even though I said it didn’t deserve my rants I did rant a bit on the movie so I guess I’ll continue this post to rant on my sworn enemy.

I used to hate people who smoke in public places so much I never thought I’d see the day something replaces them in my heart (halahh..). Turns out living in Jakarta has introduced me to the lowly species that is motorbike riders. I HATE them. I REALLY HATE them. I HATE them with all my heart. And if you’re a pedestrian in Jakarta then I’m sure that you will agree to at least some of what I’m saying.

Motorbike riders in Jakarta showed me that THEY, and not smokers, are the most selfish creature in this whole world, my world at least. I’m sure every pedestrian has had a rider honking him from behind when walking on the walkway. I’m sorry, I thought walkways are meant for pedestrians. Are you walking? No, you’re not. SO WHAT’S WITH THE HONKING??!!!!

Riders also NEVER stop even if they’re going to run into something. They don’t stop even if it seems they’re gonna collide with a car so there’s just NO way in hell that they’d stop for a pedestrian. As I mentioned before , I’ve had riders barely avoiding me at the intersection DURING THE RED LIGHT just because they won’t hit the brake. I’ve even had a rider actually running me over EVEN THOUGH I WAS CROSSING AT THE ZEBRA CROSS!!! Fortunately I survived the accident (dengan memar di sana-sini bak korban penganiayaan) with my head and all four limbs intact. Masih inget aku, motor kawasaki ninja (sedikit curhat ^^).

Yang bikin lebih sebel lagi, motor kalo nyelip-nyelip suka-sukanya aja. Tapi kalo dia kesenggol marah. Eh monyong!! Macam jalan neneknya aja dibikinnya.. Jujur, kalo ngeliat kecelakaan (yang 90% korbannya motor tentu saja) aku udah gak ada kasian sama sekali ngeliat pengendara motor yang jadi korban. Bukan apa-apa, kemungkinan besar he brought it upon himself.

I know, I know, not all riders are like that. But due the VERY HIGH frequency of my meeting an ass**** rider, I’ve adopted the principle “guilty until proven otherwise” ato kalo dalam bahasa Indonesia, “praduga bersalah”. Kalo elok laku dia, barulah aku menganggap “Oh, ini orang. Bukan pengendara motor.” kehkehkehh

No offense to riders reading this. Sukur-sukur pengendara motor yang baca ini agak bertobat dikit. Kalo ada orang lagi nyebrang dikasi lewat. Gak suka ngebut dengan motornya yang saking ributnya kayaknya kalo diukur mencapai desibel 100. Ato kalopun kelakuannya gak berubah setidaknya abis nabrak orang ada lah kepikiran dikit..

 

Arti namaku ^^

Iseng meng-google arti namaku. Siti = wanita, dan Halida = abadi. Berarti arti namaku = wanita abadi? Nama yang redundan kalo dipikir-pikir. Saya kan emang gak ada rencana jadi pria..

 

sabtu kelabu dengan makhluk kelabu

Dia baru pertama kali ke terminal itu. Tempat yang ramai, bus dan angkot silih berganti keluar masuk. Calo berteriak-teriak menarik penumpang. Kakinya melangkah cepat, berusaha keluar secepat mungkin dari tempat itu. Setelah lama menunggu, angkot bernomor 37 lewat di depannya dan buru-buru ia naik dan meninggalkan terminal. Hufff lega..
Tiba-tiba terasa ada sesuatu yang menusuk kaki. Refleks dia langsung menunduk, melihat ke bawah bangku. Tidak ada apa-apa. Tapi dia yakin tadi kakinya tertusuk sesuatu yang cukup tajam. Jangan-jangan.. binatang???
Walaupun tidak yakin, dia tetap merasa cemas sehingga memindahkan kakinya. Kedua kaki diluruskan agar menjauh dari kursi. Tindakan yang salah ternyata. Tiba-tiba di ekor matanya dia melihat sebuah moncong kecil tepat di sebelah kaki kanannya, yang menempel dengan dinding belakang angkot. TIKUS!!! Ya, tikus, mancik, nezumi, rat, chui (dan entah apa lagi sebutannya dalam bahasa-bahasa lain), makhluk abu-abu yang identik dengan kotor dan penyakit. Dia langsung menghentakkan kakinya untuk menakuti si tikus. Wanita yang duduk tepat di depannya memandanginya dengan aneh. Dia hanya bisa berbisik, “tikus…” dengan nada terteror. Tetapi wanita itu tidak bereaksi apa-apa, mungkin di rumahnya sudah biasa menjumpai makhluk celaka itu.
Penampakan moncong kecil itu membuat adrenalinnya terpacu dan detak jantung meningkat pesat. Dia langsung siaga satu dengan pandangan terus-menerus menyapu lantai angkot, agar dapat sesegera mungkin mendeteksi kemunculan si tikus. Matanya tertumbuk ke sepatu kedsnya yang berwarna abu-abu. Kenapa tali sepatunya ada tiga?? Ketika dilihat lebih dekat ternyata itu adalah ekor si tikus yang entah bagaimana tanpa sepengetahuannya nongkrong dengan nyamannya di sepatunya. Jeritan tertahan dan hentakan kaki membuat seisi angkot melihat ke arahnya. Dan lagi-lagi dia hanya bisa berkata, “tikus..” tanpa bisa berkata lebih lanjut. Reaksi para penumpang, di luar dugaannya, benar-benar bertolak belakang dengan si wanita autis.
“AAAAAA!!!!! TIKUUSSSS!!!!”
“KYAAA!!”
“AAAA!!!”
“IIIIII!!!!”
Dua orang gadis bahkan langsung bangkit dan berada dalam posisi setengah-berdiri-setengah-duduk sambil terus menjerit-jerit selama kira-kira setengah menit saking paniknya. Dia sendiri, dari panik dan ketakutan, menjadi terkikik sendiri melihat reaksi seisi angkot. Supir angkot, mendengar kehebohan di belakangnya, menghentikan angkot.
“Apa? Ada apa?”
“Tikus bang..!!”
“Ah tikus aja..”(!!)
Jawaban si supir membuatnya tertawa ngakak. Dasar supir gak sopan!!
Sepanjang perjalanan suasana silih berganti tenang-panik (karena si tikus menampakkan dirinya)-tenang-panik sampai kemudian dia sampai di tujuannya.
“Kiri bang!”
Ketika dia melewati penumpang-penumpang lainnya untuk turun, mereka semua menyelamatinya,
“Wah, selamat ya mbak. Mbak udah aman.”
Dia pun tersenyum dan merasa bak juara lomba survival di tengah hutan.
Kalau dipikir-pikir, kenapa para penumpang itu tidak turun saja dan naik angkot yang lain? Ternyata mereka lebih memilih bersama tikus ketimbang membayar 2000 ekstra..

 

hmm plis deh..

supposed to post this yesterday, but slipped my mind saking keasikan donlot komik.. ^^
I’m gonna comment a bit about the uproar over the health minister thing. No, I’m not gonna criticize the new health minister because of her background. Nor am I gonna slam SBY for appointing her. Noo this post is dedicated for condemning the former health minister. Apa maksudnya ngomong-ngomong kayak gitu in a national television?? What was going in her mind? She will not gain anything by badmouthing her successor in front of the whole nation. She will only harm the whole nation because everyone will be doubtful of the successor and it will hinder her in doing her job. If she really has something to say then she should just tell SBY in person instead of saying it in front of everyone. And the ones harmed by this will be?? Indonesian people of course (duh) and the poor ones even more.

 

naon sii

“What did your folks say about it?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing??”

(Looks up) “What’s with the look? It’s no big deal.”

“Yes, it is! This could be the one chance for you and they have nothing to say? Don’t you think that’s a bit cold?”

“Well, you can’t blame them. They know nothing about this. I didn’t tell them.”

“You what?? Why??”

“Because I couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just couldn’t, OK?”

“That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard in my whole life.”

“Because if I tell them they’ll only have even higher expectation of me. And when I fail, they’ll say it’s OK. That it doesn’t matter. But it DOES!! And you can hear it in their voice..!!”

 

Hold a true friend with both your hands

Note: names and places have been changed to preserve privacy (ah masaaa. Cem betull aja )

 

1.

(phone rings)

“Hello?”

“A, Hi! How are you??”

“B? Where have you been? I’ve been trying to contact you for months!!”

“Ehee. I changed my number. That way, I can talk with my boyfriend all the time.”

“??? Oh…”

“So how have you been? What are you doing nowadays?”

“Uh.. Nothing special.”
”What is it? Sounds like there’s something wrong.”

“Not really. Listen, I’m busy right now…”

“Oh? Then, I’ll call you again later, OK?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Bye”

“Uh-huh.”

A put down the phone and then continued reading comics…

 

2.

A opened the closet, and was looking for her T-shirt when the phone rings.

“Hello?”

“A? Is that you? Listen, about our appointment. I don’t think I can come today.”

“Huh? Did something happen?”

“Well, my boyfriend just called. Asked me to go grab a bite or something with him.”

“Oh. Your boyfriend called.”

“Yeah. So I can’t come. D is coming with you, right?”

”No, she’s not. You’re the one who picked this day. And you know she can’t come on Saturday.”

“Oh, that’s right. But you’re gonna be okay by yourself. Besides you usually go out alone, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, gotta go. Bye. See you later.”

 

3.

Morning:

“A, did you know what he said last night? He…. “(fades away)

 Noon:

“Where is he? Do you see him? I can’t wait to see him..”

 Afternoon:

Beep-beep-beep.

A looked around and saw that C was punching text messages in high speed on her cellphone.

 

I dedicate these to everyone who were “dispensed with” by their friends who got a boyfriend. Who think that there’s only the two of them in this whole wide world. &*$^%* you!! A friend is not something you can dump whenever you want and then come to when you have a fight with your “beloved”.

PS: the title of this post is a Nigerian saying.

 

masa sihh

teman-teman kosku dulu di arjip tercinta semuanya pencinta oprah. tiap jumat-minggu jam 10 pagi kalo gak ada acara pasti dah ngumpul di kamar Dyah mantengin tipi. bahkan headline newsnya metroTV pun dijabanin. nah suatu hari, mereka cerita ke aku tentang episode yang baru mereka tonton. episode itu (kayaknya) membahas macam-macam sindrom aneh yang tidak umum (mungkin tujuannya biar masyarakat tau kali ya). nah, yang kuingat cuman dua (ato memang cuman ada dua?): sindrom turet dan satu lagi tahapa namanya pokoknya si orangnya terobsesi segalanya harus simetris. the second one really got me interested karena sejujurnya, saya ini waktu kecil terobsesi symmetry (kata bendanya simetris dalam bahasa Indonesia apa sih??). kalo gak percaya, ask my sister. I was totally obsessed with symmetry. when my right hand touched (or even just brushed against) something, I’d instinctively make my left hand to be touched in the same exact way and vice versa. this applies not just for hands, but also my arms, legs even my head. I will not rest until the other side experiences the same way. my sister really loved this obsession of mine. she’d touch one side of my body and happily watch me dengan hebohnya mengembalikan kesimetrisan.

baca punya baca, I found that symmetry obsession termasuk salah satu bagian OCD. wuasyemm. mangnya daku orang gilak apa..

karena aku tak terima, aku membaca lebih jauh lagi dan ternyata, symmetry obsession yang dimaksud dalam OCD ituww: “An overwhelming need to align objects `just so`”. Jadi lebih ke sekitarnya, bukan dirinya. Dan lagi, katanya, orang-orang penderita OCD itu maniak kebersihan. Huahahaa kalo ini sih, semua yang tau aku juga tau kalo aku sama sekali bukan maniak kebersihan.  

Berarti, diputuskan, aku tidak gila. 

NB: jadi penjelasan untuk simetris-maniaku itu apa dunk??  

NB2: mohon postingan ini tidak dianggap serius. karena sekedar untuk mengisi kekosongan saja, mengingat dah lama gak posting.

NB3: sekedar klarifikasi, aku bukan maniak kebersihan bukan berarti aku jorok loh yaaa

 

horeee!!

berita gembiraaa!!! Oreo sudah kembali!! hip hip huraa!!

 

random thought of the day

Kalo dipikir-pikir, kata “mengantuk” dan “tidur” gak ada hubungannya sama sekali ya.. Kalo di bahasa inggris kan “sleep” dan “sleepy”. Di bahasa jepang dan korea juga keduanya berasal dari kata yang sama. Lah kok di bahasa Indonesia nggak?? Padahal kan mengantuk itu berhubungan erat dengan tidur. Bahasa Indonesia memang ajaib.. Ada lagi gak ya bahasa selain bahasa Indonesia yang kata “mengantuk” dan “tidur” gak ada mirip-miripnya..??